Unless your name is Kevin Keegan or Mike Ashley, you’ll probably be aware that Stephen Carr has played for Newcastle since 2004. The under-used Irish defender, however, announced retirement from all forms of football earlier this month, following the Magpies’ decision to release him.

If Newcastle fans were worried that Mike Ashley is out of touch with the day-to-day operations at the club, they can take absolutely no solace from the manner in which Carr was dismissed.

Every summer, footballers usually try and negotiate a pay rise, for the loyalty of having hung around another season. Last summer, Mike Ashley was still very enthusiastic about Newcastle, and was handling everything himself, including contract negotiations. A good friend of The Spoiler recently found out how  Carr’s final conversation with the ‘cockney mafia’ ringleader went down:

Stephen Carr: “Hello Mr Ashley.”
Mike Ashley: “Yes”
SC: “I’ve come to speak to you about the annual pay rise.”
MA: “And who are you and what do you do here.”
SC: “Steven Carr, I’m a defender here, Mr Chairman”
MA: “How many winning games did you play in last season?”
SC: “One boss - opening day at Bolton.”
MA: “Go away - you’re sacked. Never ever come back to my club again.”