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It brings me no joy to inform you that we  knowledge of Brazilian pornography is woefully sub-par, so the news from earlier this year that Ronaldo’s ex girlfriend cashed in on her relationship through the medium of erotica slipped past us.

Shortly after the tubby Brazilian was caught debating quantum physics with a gaggle of tranvestite prostitutes, Playboy model and porn star Vivi Brunieri (working under the assumed name Vivi Ronaldinha) announced that she would be starring in Vivi Ronaldinha, mi Primera Vez (Vivi Ronaldinha, my first time) alongside a Ronaldo look-alike.

The film came out in June, but it’s a shame they didn’t wait until September - they would have had a much better chance of getting the free agent himself to star in it.

Bonus: See some teaser footage from the ‘art film’